Friday, October 31, 2014

How to Tell If Your Boss Is Crazy

How can you tell if your boss is crazy, bipolar, a narcissist, or all three. So, he may not be Stalin or Rod Blagojevich but you think he may be nuts all the same.

Instructions       
                                                                         
Things You'll Need:
Nerves of steal. 
A after work cocktail.

Step 1 
Don't let the boss drive you crazy too. Well, if you haven't read my previous article on keeping a "Bug -Out-Bag" now may be the time. It seems that another head rolls off the ol' chopping block everyday. So, lets keep low and go in to check on the mental stability of....THE BOSS.

Step 2
 Mean boss. You've had some suspicions about the sanity level of your boss but is he really crazy or just mean? Either way you have to go in everyday and deal with him or her so, you may as well get along. Here's how.

Step 3
Appear confident Take a deep breath and relax when you are around the boss. If you don't appear confident and strong he may see you as someone who he can release all of his frustrations on. It is the weak that feels the need to bring others down.

Step 4
Stay positive. Believe that you are a worthy person, and you know how to do your job and do it well. If you have good self esteem you will be able to conquer all of the negativity that your crazy boss dishes out, and you will show everyone how a little positiveness can change their outlook. Nobody says that you have to be friends with this guy. He or she is your boss and you have to respect him and do what he asks but, nothing says that you have to be difficult too because he irritates you.

Step5
Work at Wal-Mart. A new job, you can look for a new job but that is probably not a great idea in today's economy and at least you have a job. Even if you do get another job there is a big chance you will meet the same problems, just with a different set of faces. You can also do what a lot of us do, when he have to deal with a crazy boss clock in, do your job, mind your own business, go home.

Step 6 
If you feel that your boss is really a nut case then you and your co-workers may need to have an intervention. This will get him or her a paid leave of absence to work out her "emotional issues" and out of your hair, for at least a month.

Tips:
•  Do the your best everyday.
•  Try and find something positive to think about your boss.
•  Don't quit you job unless you another job.




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How to Marry an Alaskan Man

Believe it or not, there is even a magazine called 'Alaska Men', with plenty of single men to choose from. But how do you meet the everyday REAL Alaskan-born man and marry him?

There are dating websites devoted exclusively for single men in Alaska, but you won’t need a dating site to find a quality Alaskan male.

The men in Alaska still out-number the women, but for good reason. Alaska is not an easy place to live, especially if you are not going to be in one of the three biggest cities: Anchorage, Fairbanks or Juneau. There is no Macy’s, Nieman Marcus or even a Red Lobster.

The professional man can usually be found at F Street Station in Anchorage or at a local seafood restaurant in downtown Anchorage called Simon and Seaforts. The single professional man in Anchorage or anywhere else in the state for that matter, is usually surrounded by a few Alaskan women carrying more than a few extra pounds.

Alaskan men are real. Never hope for a metro sexual in Alaska. For the most part, most Alaskan males don’t get manicures, are not vegetarians, and don’t belong to cigar clubs. Alaskan men hunt, fish and fly their own planes to their hunting cabins. They have beards and dirty fingernails. But these hard working real men have a lot to offer a real lady who can take living in Alaska.

A man from Alaska will have no problem keeping you warm at night, and you will always feel safe with him, because you know he will protect you at all costs. Even if the Alaskan man is not the most romantic man around, you will never be hungry because even with the local Safeway he will be shooting you a moose for the freezer and bringing you home fresh wild salmon for canning.

A couple of other places to meet real Alaskan men in Anchorage are a restaurant/hangout called Humpy’s (that’s a fish in Alaska), Chilkoot Charlie’s which is the local pick up joint, The Hilton Sports Bar, and Club Paris, which is a dive, but has the best steaks in town. Places to stay away from in Anchorage are Darwin’s Theory, the bar for the downtown homeless, Club Millennium which is the underage kid club, and the Bush Company which is the local strip club and meat market.

If you really want to meet a man in Alaska, learn how to fish and stroll up on a river bank and ask him how the fish are biting, or learn to shoot and go to the range at Potters Marsh or Grouse Ridge.
If you do meet and marry an Alaskan man, prepare yourself for a honeymoon in a tent or a fabulous fishing trip on the Kenai River.


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Wal-Mart

How to Not Lose Your Mind While Waiting In Line at Wal-Mart

The average American spends two to three years of his or her life waiting in line, unless you are a regular at a Wal-Mart Super Center. Then it goes up to about six years.

As if all the people bumping into you and walking into you with never an "excuse me" to be muttered were not enough, now we have to wait in line.


Instructions
Difficulty: Challenging
Things You’ll Need:
* the patience of a saint
* the attitude of a martyr

Step1
Unless you are a Vampire and like to do your shopping at three in the morning, Wal-Mart is not the place to be on a Saturday afternoon. Its worse than the bank and the post office put together.

So, here you are waiting in line for what would be considered an eternity in some parts of the universe. You can finally make out the cashier's face and BAM, she flips on her "help me" light for a price check. So how do you not become totally enraged?

Step2
Do not go to Wal-Mart if you are in a hurry. Make sure you have plenty of time, because you are not going anywhere fast.

Here are few tips to keep your head from exploding, and telling that person behind you, who keeps bumping into your ankle, what you really think of her and the six kids in her shopping cart.

Step3
Eat.
You probably have food in your cart, or there is a candy rack just up ahead filled with Snickers bars, Frito's and Jerky. So go ahead and dig in. That's why it's there, set up looking like a smorgasbord. The good people at Wal-Mart know you are bound to get hungry while waiting in line.

Step4
Read the magazines.
These are the fun magazines, the ones you don't want to spend money on. You want to read about Octo-mom, Brad, Angie and Jen, and the latest gossip in Hollywood. While you're there, you can read the other rags about life in outer space, and why Obama is gay.

Step5
Talk.
Strike up a conversation with someone, tell them how much Facebook has taken over your life. You never go out with friends anymore because you are too busy typing to them. This should kill some time, or least they will think you are crazy and step a few feet further away from you.

Step6
Stand staring blankly into space.
It’s very restful here in line. Look at that guy walking by with a ham the size of a small car.

Wait.
So now all you can do is wait and daydream and wait and daydream and wait. Or go to Target next time.

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